I just need a light in the dark as I search for the resolution,

Its supposed to get harder before it gets better,
they tell me.
If you cry all the time and you feel like you can't catch your breath,
thats normalcy.
thats what they tell me.
and if you feel like youre drowning under the weight of your grief,
then youre doing okay.
its good that you feel this way.
because the memories will fade,
and the wounds, theyll scar.
and everything you feel,
will become vague and equivocal.
no the pain wont be unbearable for long,
and youll begin to smile again.
youll learn to feel other things.
thats what theyve told me all along,
but they never said i would feel so immensely,
incomprehensibly helpless.
they never told me that id cry so hard i would choke.
they never said i would be numb to every emotion other than sadness.
they forgot to mention that i wouldnt be able to love, trust, or care.
like a new piercing,
or a tetanus shot,
it will hurt bad but not for long.

Im Not Looking for Forgiveness.

I've been lifting up rocks for days,

searching for places to hide.

I don't have the strength to face the feelings

that are sure to pour out from inside.

I need you now more than I did then,

cause when everything starts getting harder,

I used to run straight to your open arms.

My best friend, my hero, my father.

I've been working on this for a month.

I'm stuck.

input?